why I don’t write stories that I maybe should

First of all, I am terribly angry at myself for writing about writing, but look at all the fucks I give.

I love many genres. I get easily passionate by any genre I find interesting at time. The literary critique worm inside me gets very excited the second I google books on different themes.  I mean, who else than English major graduates would spend their evening on a research on magical realism? I totally did, just because I was not sure if I read any, and if I did, was it worth my time? Turned out I did read a few and I liked it, partially because of the tools and also, as I believe, since magical realism is one of themes used in postmodernism. I am not even surprised.

So I know quite a lot of genres, and I’ve spent some time to get to know  them and see through them. Still, when it comes to me writing something decent, I cannot really decide what is it? YA? Chick lit? Wth lit? If there is nothing like “Wth lit” it’s only because no one read what I keep in my drawers.

I figured out there are two main ways I may get along with this (and one extra to follow).

1. Shut up and concentrate on things I know to create within those genres

2. Shut up and just do whatever, because, who cares?

(3. [optional] Just shut up.)

Pros and cons of the first option is that I have some knowledge of many literary tools, so I may eventually come up with a piece fitting a genre totally. Like chick lit, oh God. once I had a dream with a perfect scenario. But I don’t like chick lit and I try to avoid it as long as I can. However, if I just incorporate some elements of different genres that I like, it’s very easy to overdose. On the other hand, when I look at things I am currently working on, I can see that there is still not enough themes or too much of one or two, which are combined in some exotic mix of… whatever it is.

If you ever wonder if I do over analyze and question my stories all the time, I guess you know the answer.

Tbh, even if I know a lot about a genre and I know that I would love to read a book like that (like some coming of age women story, but without any romantic elements – why is this one so hard to get??), I still do not create them. What the hell is wrong with me?!

So I can go to option 2 and just do whatever, because who gives a shit, anyway. It’s 21st Century, for Thor’s sake. I would probably create a tone of stories before there will be one really good one. And I know that as a young writer I am not even half good enough and probably still better than I believe I am. Why do I care, then? First of all, because I am weird. Second of all, because I know what I like and do not like, therefore, what should find a place in my stories and what not. But there is a huge pro for this one, because the more you care and analyze, the little you actually write, because nothing ever is good enough.

I guess, I am left with the last one.

*crying on the inside, crying on the outside*

#I need coffee.

#A lot.

 

 

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One thought on “why I don’t write stories that I maybe should

  1. Z mojego teoretycznego-overthinking punktu widzenia najlepszą opcją byłaby kombinacja 1 i 2 😉 tzn. pisać to, co chcesz i czujesz nie przejmując się gatunkami, ale stosując zabiegi literackie które znasz i rozumiesz. I nie przejmować się, że nie da się tego wpasować w jeden schemat, to znak XXi wieku xd Oczywiście wiem, że łatwo się mówi a ciężko robi [w końcu to ja ciągle tylko gadam o pisaniu a nie piszę], no ale musiałam swe zdanie wypowiedzieć xd

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