In the time of forthcoming overwhelming, Spring-bombarding, fit&fashion-crazy period, here is a few good words on being big.
And by “big” I mean bigger big, smaller big, anywhere you can place yourself on the scale. Trust me,
after all everyone makes a beautiful dish. So yeah, feel free to reading and coming back to this post each and every time you need to feel better.
Yes, I think of myself as a big girl. Well, I must be bigger than others, but also smaller than some. I am absolutely aware of not being able to fit in some sizes of clothes and years of experience may prove that the probability of size Euro S or M happening in my closet is closer to 0% or less. My hands are rather big, even my wrists are. My legs do not at any angle remain anything like sticks. I have round hips and wide shoulders and thank universe I have them with me. Without my legs I would not be able to carry those shoulders and I need them to hold all of the trouble to remain calm like a surface of a lake (and btw, they make a perfect frame for this fabulous mane of mine).
So, yeah, one may not be able to carry me in their arms but that is the last thing that would go to their head when they come to know me, probably. Also, I’ve done my research. I never met a person who would, after hanging out with me, tell something like “Yeah, well that was fun, but maybe you should cover yourself now” and I am pretty sure this just does not happen. You can ask other big girls and they would tell you the same, but I think at this point you already believe me. Why else would you continue reading after the first paragraph, anyway?
It might be that I would like to be a few “this doesn’t look cool” details less. I guess everyone would like to change something in their look. However, I know that instead of skinnier legs, which I would never get, I already have a pretty nice voice and eyes and a few other cool parts. I wish I was in a better physical condition, but that is something I can change. My wide arms – well, I can not, but damn how well they would look in an armor*.
Not to mention, if we make it an all about look talk, I can wear a lot of things a different shaped girl cannot. You should see me in a fitted tuxedo or a v-neck dress with a nice waist. I won’t ever wear a bikini, that is true, but I can wear a pencil skirt and red heels and keep my head high.
Also, you can really try breaking me, but at this point it is impossible. Look at me, of all this time of not fitting in as a chubby little girl and a really shitty huge time of being an overweight teen, I’ve survived. I am alive. Trust me, being too big for a girl in her teens is a nightmare. And yet I am all breathing and fine and breaking through another comfort zone, one at the time, like a warrior that I was exactly born to be.
And the best part of this all is that looking back 10 years ago, or even a few years ago, I would probably never write a thing like that, so *snap snap*
*I am also really happy for GoT being back on TV