things that keep me awake

I wish there were any, because I feel so sleepy all the time this week that I hope I won’t fall asleep writing this entry.

You know, I thought being a writer is a bit like living inside a bubble that keeps you less sane than the outside. I feel like I’m even too sane lately. Not that would be a precisely bad thing, not at all..  But I always had a strong feeling I manage this kind of switch that can turn my writing mind off and on if I need it. It’s not much connected with writing itself, but just holding the ideas together and making them grow. I would say it’s a bit like keeping a little garden of different plants in separate pots. So I was sure I can keep it away from whatever is going on around, but I don’t think I can do it anymore.. or if I ever could.

On the other hand, if that would be really possible, what would be the point of reading? Would I be reading with the switch on or off? If I wouldn’t bring anything of the texts I’ve read to my little garden, what is the point of reading them anyway? Of course, reading for pleasureis nice and cosy but if you learn how to read with a writer’s eye, I don’t think there is a way out.

So, maybe the switch is always on. I guess everyone keeps some kind of an open narration inside their head to their everyday life. Writers are just tricky enough to give their fears and dreams names and some imaginary worlds to walk around.


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